Stonehell: Honey Badger Don't Care

Session 55 was played on 12/19

Eiric, wizard 6 (Kat)
- men at arms (Koltic, Pargax)
- linkmen (Lomax)
- Neon (dog)
A-A-Ron, Thief 6 (Henchman)
Daryll, Cleric 6 (Henchman)
Orpheus, Human Fighter 5 (Henchman)
Karl, Dwarf 5 (Julia)
- Hobart (dog)
- men at arms (Bollox, GoMat)
Borumar, ½ Orc Thief 4
Lex the Cheeseman, Fighter 2
Brie, wizard 1 (Apprentice to Eiric)

Borumar joins back up with the party, after having been off doing things with the local thieves guild. The party heads back into Stonehell, swinging by Kobold Korners to do their usual beer run, then back around and down to the Monster Dorm on the 3rd level. Taking the secret stairs down from the asylum, they head east, exploring a section of dungeon clearly built by dwarves.

Finding first a mess hall, with dwarven drinking song lyrics carved into the walls, Karl can’t help but burst into song. The songs of his people ring out for the first time in an age, and miracle of miracles, the empty wineskin he holds fills with the finest dwarven ale. He happily drinks it all down, and then sings all the songs again. Once again, the skin fills with ale.

Eiric calls an end to Karl’s fun, and they move on to a dwarven shrine. The statue of a hooded dwarven priest dominates one end, while the other side has a large altar carved in the shape of a badger. Under the altar, they find a secret passage that drops 100’ down. Karl, seeing as it’s in a dwarven shrine, volunteers to go himself. A bit later, he finally makes it to the bottom. Wheezing ever so slightly, he looks around at the vestry, the old robes dry, stiff, and mostly rotted away. The next room over is a dusty old hidden sanctum, A jeweled golden badger sits prominently in a beautifully carved apsidal chapel at the back of the room. As Karl steps into the room, the ghostly figure of a dwarf manifests.

“Who dares enter the sanctum sanctorum?!?”

“Karl, cousin of Wilhelm, cousin of Matthias”

“A true dwarf?”

“Yes…”

“If so, you know the liturgy of the Great Digger!” The apparition moves nose to nose with Karl. “Sing it… or die…”

Karl clears his throat and sings:
“Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger
Mushroom, mushroom, a
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger
Mushroom, mushroom, a
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger
Mush-mushroom, a
Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger
African! Snake, a snake
Snake! A snake, ooh it's a snake
It's a badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger
Mushroom, mushroom, a”

“Stop! And what are the sacred words of the Digger and those who follow her?

“Honey Badger don’t care. Honey Badger don’t give a shit. It just takes what it wants.”

“You have proven yourself a true follower. Take what you want! And care not!” and the spirit fades away.

Minutes later, Karl is hauling, slowly, a chest of goods, including the icon, and the Hammer of the Honey Badger back up into the shrine. Seeing the riches Karl came back with, and having added a bit to the map, the party calls it a successful delve, and returns to the surface.

Splitting the goods, Borumar, Lex, and Karl all throw big parties. Borumar’s party is lavish, but restrained. Lex ends up drinking something from a witch’s cauldron, and shrinks to 1’ tall, with no clothing. Karl wakes up in the back room of an art gallery, listening to a pair of people discussing some abstract work in the other room. Karl’s butt has dried paint on it.

Meanwhile Eiric and Brie research the spell Summon Corgi.

Gains: Hammer of the Honey Badger (+1, can’t die from poison), 4880gp worth of assorted gems, jewelry, and coins
Losses: None
Kills: None