Classic 80's Horror Quick Reviews '26

One of the ways I help get myself into the spooky season mood is with horror movies. I'm still working my way through the list of classic 80s (ish) horror movies that were suggested to me some years back. 

Slumber Party Massacre 3/5

The whole movie I was just thinking about how dumb that big drill was as a weapon. Other than that, it was pretty much exactly what the title suggested it was going to be. Plenty of nudity, plenty of death, and a serial killer suitably demented. 

Nightbreed 4/5

Clive Barker knows how to make a horror movie, and to do it well. The story was a little out there, but the special effects, especially the makeup were PHENOMENAL!! Absolutely worth it just for that. Some of the sets were great to. I think the only big thing that detracted from it was the matte painting of the cemetery. Given how good everything else generally way, that was just jarring. The militia's massive arsenal felt a little excessive for the time, but maybe I'm just projecting that things weren't that bad so many years ago. Today? I'd expect it. Hell, I'd expect the police to have that sort of firepower. 

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 5/5

In most of the horror movies I've watched there's always an element of fantasy that gives my brain a distance from the action, and lets me take it not too seriously. This movie strips that away. The violence is brutal, if remarkably clean. There was a minimum of blood, which looking back is surprising. But it worked. The horror of the violence was enough. They ways it was casual and brutal, and the way it lingered worked so well. 

Maniac Cop 1.5/5

ACAB, and boy does this movie do nothing to dispel that. Aside from the horror of the undead cop going around killing people, it really shows what a bunch of assholes cops are. I wish I could say "oh, it's just for the movie" but no, there was nothing in this that hasn't been an obvious  issue with cops since forever. Other than that, this was a pretty boring movie and I only made it through it because i could distract myself with sewing patches onto my kid's pants. 

Pumpkinhead 4.5/5

I didn't know anything about this going into it, and uff... Yeah, I get it. If someone accidentally killed my kid like that? I'm at that witch's hut asking for a demon to exact some revenge, and feeling guilty about it pretty quickly thereafter.   

 Wishmaster 3.5/5 

It's interesting how visually this one feels so different from the 80's movies. I don't have enough exposure to the genre to say if this is a good example, or if even there was an overall shift, but it feels like there was. Anyway, the story was decent, the visual effects were good, especially the makeup work for the monsters.