Boarface & the Snake Museum

On 3/30 Brian Murphy ran Natalie Bennett, Chris F, and I in a Google+ game.

Here's what happened...

“No! I’m done with him, and I’m leaving. After what happened to Sacco, and the nothing he did about it... You can come too, but I’m out of here.” Boarface yelled.

Kaldue was stunned. “Good luck then. Any idea where you’ll go?”

Boarface picked up the bag with his few belongings and told him “I heard there was some woman who spoke to a snake about some monkeys that took over a temple. I figure there’s probably lots of treasure in an old temple, and maybe even some magic” He paused with his hand on the latch. “Take care of yourself. Nick certainly won’t.” then walked out the door.

A few of the bar’s patrons listened with rapt attention as Boarface continued his tail. “So after walking out on my former employer, I followed my lead, which brought me to a podunk village with a dingy inn. “I’m here about the albino monkeys.” I said when I stepped inside.”

“White apes, actually.” The woman who stood before Boarface radiated a barely contained energy, though it didn’t even take a glance to realize that it wasn’t for him. Then again, with a name like ‘Boarface’ it never is. “They’ve taken over the Snake Museum, and St. Serpentor wants it back. I’m Jocelyn. Will you lend your sword to this quest?”

“Does, uh, St. Serpentor reward those who do him favors?” Boarface asked.

“Of course. Richly.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“Then I’ll be glad to help you with your monkey problem.”

“Apes.” She corrected.

“Sure. Has anyone else decided to, uh, help you?”

“Yes, another foreign swordsman, Ivan.”

A little bit later they were on their way.

The domes of the abandoned “Snake Museum” showed no obvious serpent imagery, but it was huge. The main entrance was skipped in favor of a breached wall on one of the smaller domes. The interior was rubble strewn, and an old swollen door offered a way deeper into the ruin. As Jocelyn listened at the door, a green slime began to drip down, just behind her. Ivan and Boarface both jumped back and Boarface tossed the torch he was holding into the middle of the thing. It sizzled, and the slime began to spread away from it and toward Jocelyn. Grabbing one of Ivan’s spare bags of lantern oil, Boarface started spraying both on the slime and the torch, and after using about half the bag the thing was a flaky mess. At this point they noticed a second slime up on the ceiling. They lured it down toward the hole in the wall they used as an entrance and then gave it to a oil and fire bath too.

With some work, the swollen door was forced open, and they crossed a dusty hall to find a large room with over sized iron furniture and an old fountain. Amazingly enough the fountain still had some scuzzy water in it. Within the fountain stood a marble statue on a pedestal of a woman, her outstretched arms each holding a bronze snake. It looked like the snakes were designed to spit the water into the fountain.

They moved on through an open doorway and found themselves in a theater, complete with a stage equipped with a red velvet curtain. Boarface suggested they burn it down, “since it’s the only way to be sure”, but Ivan wanted to know what was behind it. Using his sword to part the curtain, he thwacked something that was apparently hanging on the backside of it. It fell to the floor and scuttled out of sight before anyone got a good look at it. Beyond the curtain was another room, full of old props, costumes, and 3 crates. Within the first crate were what appeared to be priestly regalia for St. Serpentor. Jocelyn tried on the ceremonial helmet, but while it was very impressive it wasn’t functional. The next crate contained a large brass orrery. The final crate contained 3 brass lanterns that looked like they were to be installed in the theater.

While investigating the crates, a spider (presumably the one that Ivan thwacked) attacked. It dropped down on Ivan’s back and attempted to bite him. Somehow between the screaming like a girl, running around in a circle, and flailing like a fish on land, Ivan managed to avoid being bitten, and also managed to destroy his shield... Don’t ask how. Jocelyn and Boarface each managed to land a quick succession of blows that destroyed the eight-legged thing. According to Jocelyn these are nothing compared to the spidergoats she raised on her family's ranch.

Boarface resolved to never visit Jocelyn’s family.

Owing to the bulk of the finds so far the party decided to send Jocelyn back to the village to secure a cart. Turns out that she had to blackmail a cousin to get it. He’d apparently gotten very friendly with a spidergoat.

Never, ever, visit her family.

Returning to collect the crates, another spider was noticed far up on the wall. In an ill-conceived plan, Jocelyn lashed 2 poles together, then attached a torch to the end, then climbed on Ivan’s shoulders. From this precarious position she attempted to knock the spider down. She succeeded, or she got it to leap at her and miss. Then, somehow, she managed to spear it with the torch on the end of the 2 poles, from Ivan’s back. Boarface finished it off, and then the crates were brought to the cart.

Moving back across the hall into the next open doorway brought the party to a ransacked kitchen. Scattered about were various pieces of silverware. They skipped collecting the silver to secure the area. Ignoring the apparently one way metal door they checked out the open doorway. It lead to a twisting passageway, which was followed a short distance before they returned to the kitchen. Boarface gathered the silverware, and also disturbed a snake hiding in the debris. He narrowly avoided a face full of snake-spit. While Boarface was so occupied Jocelyn investigated the metal door and found a very cold room, which was apparently used for food storage. A magical stone created the cold, but they’d get back to it.

They returned to the hallway and headed deeper into the complex, and came upon a larger hall, this one with a set of 6 statues, each apparently representing either St. Serpentor, or perhaps his high priests through the ages? Boarface didn’t look that closely, and Jocelyn didn’t say.

They turned the other way and came to a mural room depicting a burning city, and fleeing snake-people. Boarface had been keeping a rough map on the back of his shield, and there was a gap, so they checked for hidden doors. Ivan found it, and triggered the opening mechanism. Unfortunately he also triggered some sort of poison spray. He fell to the ground convulsing, and foaming at the mouth. In the room beyond was mostly more junk, some spy holes into the kitchen, and a set of potion vials. One of them was anti-venom! This made sense, being a snake museum and all. Ivan stopped foaming at the mouth, but was still out of the fight. So Boarface and Jocelyn loaded him into the cart, quickly gathered the silverware and the magical ball of cold, and headed back to the village.

While Ivan healed up, and Jocelyn attempted to recruit more help, Boarface took the magical sphere to the big city and sold it for a pretty penny.