Saturday, July 14, 2012

Random Encounters: Beyoncé

"It lives in the woods just outside of town. You wouldn't believe the rumors about the thing. Some say that there's a talking mouse that controls it, and that's why it seems to act intelligently. Another tale I've heard is that it tracked a thief to his hideout, kicked in the door, and in a high metalic voice said 'knock knock motherfucker' before pecking the living crap out of him." The beastman paused to bite another chunk out of the roasted crow.

"And that is why I'm here. I want to capture it, and see what makes it work." The rat-faced warlock pointed out, poking the camp fire with the end of his staff.

"But how do we trap it?"

"Well, if there is a thing controlling it from the inside, I have a curse that will freeze its joints. If not, I have a spiderweb spell that will probably hold it, at least for a little bit."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"That's what you and your friends are for. We'll build a pit, and lure it in. Simple as that." The warlock tossed a polished blue stone to the creature. "Don't worry, you'll be highly rewarded for the risks you and your tribe will take."

Armor Class: 4
Hit Dice: 7+1**
Move: 120' (40')
Attacks: 1 Peck + Special
Damage: 3d6
No. Appearing: 1 (1)
Save As:
Morale: 12
Treasure Type: Nil
Intelligence: 5
Alignment: Lawful
XP Value:

Monster Type: Construct (Unique)

Wandering the edges of the woods near a cluster of small villages is an animated metal chicken, known to the local residents as Beyoncé. No one knows how Beyoncé was named, but it has been known to the villagers for many many years. It has protected them from marauding bands of humanoids and wild monsters. Beyoncé has been hunted numerous times by warlocks looking for the secret of its apparent intelligence, but between its natural cunning, and a nest of hornets that has made its home inside its belly (4HD Insect Swarm), none have succeeded.

Beyoncé is a 5-foot tall metal chicken owned by The Bloggess, originally introduced here. This post was inspired by this more recent update about Beyoncé.


  1. My old lady sent me this. I nearly laughed myself out of my chair. The caption in the intro OP image is hysterical...

  2. Love it man, gonna use that that little scenario seed.