Strahd: An Unkindness of Ravens

I thought we’d come to an agreement. I leave you alone, you leave me alone. I get it, being raised in a temple, there’s a certain bit I owe you, and I’ll drop coins in the poor box when I have them, but I didn’t want to get involved, you see? With any of it. There’s life to live, to enjoy! And you, all of you, have PLANS and SCHEMES and I don’t want any part of that.

And I grumbled when you gave Ember his holy moment, but at least it wasn’t me. We grew up together, and I thought we’d gotten out together, but no…

The warrant was totally not my fault. Okay, I know the bone wasn’t actually a relic, that’s why I had to fake the provenance papers, but it isn’t like you can actually find the mad archmage’s remains, and it didn’t hurt anybody. How did I know they wanted to resurrect him? So we made ourselves scarce and out of town. The harvest festival was great, I hope you enjoyed all the offerings.

But then, the way back to town (I really hope things have cooled off, I’m tired of being out in the middle of hicksville) we somehow ended up with a couple of paladins too? Subtle. Real subtle.

Then the flash flood, the ravens, the lady in black who gave me these shiney boots?

Come on… Nothing good was going to come from that.

Well, okay, the dwarf falling into the river was funny.

And aside from the boots, I also really appreciated the directions to the dry cabin not too far away, but a heads up about those dusty crab things would have been nice. And yes, I won’t deny that the paladins were helpful, but so was the ranger! Not everything has to revolve around you all! And it wasn’t like I wasn’t holding my own.

Really, they probably couldn’t have handled it without me. And Karl didn’t seem to mind my dagger in his back. I had dust in my eyes. I didn’t do it because he’s a paladin or anything.

Honest! A little credit please.

Anyway, I’m finally dry so I’m going to bed.

…

These boots came from a dead lady, didn’t they? Seriously, you gods are the worst.