I've been writing session reports for my games for so long now, that having not one but four different players all opt to take advantage of the bonus 100xp is just crazy awesome! I know you probably won't get as big a kick of out reading these as I do, but I hope you enjoy anyway!
It's been a long road getting from there to here. So somehow, I've done enough cool stuff and killed enough bad guys to get deputized!!!! How exciting is that! I even got a sparkly badge! I've been lumped in with a group of grumpy grumps to go off to the Badlands. We're supposed to help a group of humans tame the land and battle some goblin guys or something. Human people sure do talk trash about beings they don't know much about! We walked for what seemed like forever and my companions have MUCH longer legs than I, so I am really getting a workout! Luckily, I remembered to pack some extra mushroom snacks for the road! Some of the gang get really grumpy when they're hungry. It's the worst. So the gang is really interesting! There's' a dragon-born guy he's super tough and really tall! and red!!! There's this guy who keeps making magical stuff, but nothing is really doing what he says it's going to do and it's kind of funny. He has a weird gem in his hand and I am trying to get a closer look at it because I know about gems, but it's kind of awkward and he seems kind of secretive about it, so I'm just waiting for the right time. There's a halfling guy who is unusually feisty and seems to like to pick fights. He's more of my size, so that's nice, but he doesn't seem to have mastered the nuances of asking questions before he shoots his arrows. There's also a Kenku. He is really good at mimicking sounds. I wonder if I can convince him to make some cool music with me! There's some guy who seems kinda fancy but is totally trying to slum it. But he is pretty nice. There's an elven monk too. He's pretty quiet and does really good punches and kicks!
Anyhow... We walked for like EVER until we got to the village. I played some music to some screaming babies so we could get some info from the tavern keep. That felt nice! We also found out that there's a weird eyeball head guy freaking people out. Spooky!!!! I am starting to write out some sweet riffs in case we meet him and I can write a song about it. Anyway, We were supposed to check on a farmer who they thought was murdered by goblins. The gang kept talking shit about goblins. I decided right then and there that I was going to make friends with a goblin. ON our way, we saw some goblins washing a dress in a river! Weird right?!!! Anyhow, we killed it. We bickered for while about what we were going to do next and went to the farm. It turns out the goblins were working the farm and seemed to do a pretty good job at it! The farmer was all bungled up and the Kenku fixed him up! It turns out the farmer's daughter is married to the goblin king!!! WHAT?!! We thought maybe she was magic-ed into it, so we bickered about what to do next and decided to set-up a trap of sorts to figure out if that was true. The goblin king and the farmer's daughter came to visit and I played and AMAZING song all about their illicit love. It was epic. It really was because I had to play for a LONG time while the KEnku did some weird magic to find out if she was ensorcelled. It' turns out its TRUE LOVE!!! or at least not magic. SO the halfling was all ready to kill him for no REASON!!!! Luckily Mr. Secretly a lord or some shit offered the king a gift and we were able to make a plan where everyone is happy and now we are going to battle hobgoblins. I am closer to my goal of making a goblin friend!!! Maybe I need to befriend a hobgoblin?
I'm SO EXCITED!
My Dearest Ellinora,
I do not know if you are getting these missives, hopefully my brother spoke true when he said he could pay one of your servants to deliver them. i yearn for the day when we can be together, but until that happy morrow comes to pass I will pour my heart onto these pages for you.
(This paragraph is composed mostly of cliched or strained metaphors relating to Elinora's beauty and professions of undying love.)
My goal of establishing myself started of promisingly. I bought a set of laborer's clothes and, with a suit of mail I bought from one of my family's guardsmen, I received the Duke's badge and was sent to the Borderlands. I met with a varied group of adventurers and was able to blend in as one of the common folk, I doubt they had any idea who I was during our trip. Once at the Keep, we heard tale of many strange things. There were plenty of stories of goblin attacks, but also one of a strange being who's head consisted solely of one giant eye! What mysteries our world holds, how does it blink? Our band decided to investigate a nearby farm that seemed to have been cut off from the community. We set off alongside the river, leading into Goblin territory. After a few hours of walking we spotted a group of Goblins washing something in the river water. Some of the more headstrong members of my group rushed forward to do battle and I, not knowing what else to do, followed to help. We made short work of those small fellows and looked to see what they were doing, it turned out they were washing a woman's dress! At this point the Kenku in our party, a strange one indeed, began cawing at a raven for several minutes. More productively, Wolfsbane the elven monk, tracked the goblins to their lair. He noticed however, that there were quite a lot of them and we determined that discretion was the better part of valor. We decided to resume our course to the farm.
At the farm we saw a strange sight. Goblins working the field while a human man sat on the porch. When we arrived the goblins scattered and we went to talk to the older man. I confess that I was chagrined by our earlier actions, since we attacked those poor goblins without parley or offering a chance of surrender. The man told an interesting tale. It seems his daughter had fallen in love with the goblin king, and he in love with her. When the man tried to bring his daughter home, the king broke his leg. He sent the goblins to work the man's fields in recompense. While the farmer said his daughter had been enchanted by the king I saw the clear parallels in our own tragic tale and decided that I was on the side of love.
My compatriots were not so romantic as I, and set up a plan to determine if the girl was truly a willing bride. We sent work to the goblin king that we had gifts for his wedding and entreated him to meet us at the farm. The gnomish lute-player Marceline would distract them while the kenku would work a ritual he claimed would determine if she was ensorcelled, The rest of us would lie in wait to ambush them if the king was the blackguard the farmer claimed him to be. The king arrived with many bodyguards, but was distracted by a masterful song from Marceline. Our shoddy ambush was quickly discovered and I had to think quickly. Seeing, that the goblin king was a bit of a dandy, I offered him the gift of my velvet doublet as a wedding present. That seemed to mollify him while the bird-man completed his ritual. The farmer's daughter was under no enchantment! It was clear violence would not be the salve for this wound. Diplomacy however, would require the word of more than a handful of unknown adventurers. It was with a heavy heart that I declared myself and signed a letter asking the Baron to meet to negotiate with the goblins. My first challenge as an adventurer was solved by relying on my family name, not a promising start to my goal. Happily however, the Baron and King were able to reach an agreement of alliance, provided we helped the goblins against their enemies. To seal this alliance we were sent to attack a hunting party of hobgoblins, which we dispatched with ruthless efficiency.
I hope I have not rambled overmuch my love. I will write again soon. Until then I remain your eternal servant,
Well Finally. Lorenzo set off, after being deputies, and met the whole group of adventurers (or Co-Workers) like himself and they went together to achieve their first task together.
They had arrived in a small village where they met with a rather rude man who was loyal to the baron. Lorenzo was concerned with the food and board of the group but thankfully it was provided..
The man told us about a group of farmers that lost contact in the area and goblins cause. Putting 2 and 2 together Lorenzo figured the goblins were cause of the trouble.
The group wanted to take rest in the tavern. Which was good because we have been traveling for a few weeks. The food and beer where...less than adequate, but with a touch of magic that problem was fixed.
Setting off to solve the problem we ran to a minor dilemma. 2 goblins were seen mocking washing clothes of humans. In anger, he tried to zap one of the goblins only to discover magic is more crazier and out of control than he thought. He teleported into them
With the help of the team the 2 goblins were quickly disposed of. In discovery the goblin lair was also located however, things amiss, the group headed to the farm.
Arriving at the farm. We discovered that the owner had a broken leg and the daughter eloped with a goblin king.
Fortunately with some clever planning and great diplomacy. We actually found a non violent solution to the matter. Except a clause where we had to remove some hobgoblins. Which a few weeks later we did....
I Ove, halfling rogue went on a strange mission tonight. It took us three weeks to get to this keeper which was on the outskirts of any known land. There was some kind of conflict with goblins who were already living there. I certainly did not want to get into a fight with a bunch of goblins where were living there first.
Our party had two fighters, a monk, a bard, a sorcerer, and some strange non talking bird. I hardly describe the group as battle ready. We did hatch a plan to try and ambush and kill the goblin king - I thought it could work but the bird person of our party convinced us to try diplomacy. By using his magic while dancing, he convinced us that the farmer's daughter was not under a spell. I still think that I could have knock out the king with my shortbow from the roof of the barn.
In the end, it work and the manor of humans and goblins agreed to work together. To satisfy our combat eagerness, we did agree to take on some hobgoblins in the end by ambushing them in some blueberry patch.
The highlight for me was the stealing of 71 gold coin pieces from our unsuspecting fighter who I hear does not care that much about money and has more of it. You can bet that I will be keeping a close watch on him. I think I will spend the next week hanging out in some taverns, playing cards or dice.